It’s Okay

You’ve got mail!

This week I got an message from a friend I haven't seen for several years. We pass the odd message on social media but not a lot.

I smiled when I got the message and then felt enormously sad. My friend explained that over the past couple of years she had become quiet withdrawn into herself and not kept in touch with her friends which on looking back was now regretting.

It made me stop and think and realise that these last couple of years have really affected us all in so many ways that perhaps we don't see as we all try to maintain that persona of normality.

I know I have become more thoughtful and anxious over silly little things that before would never have affected me. Yes I cry when I am on my own, feel sad without being able to actually verbalise why I feel like this .....

It isn't all the time, when I look up at the blue sky, or dance or go out for those lovely walks I can forget about the world we live in now and how things have changed and I smile.

We are beginning to start living again, Colin and myself have talked long and hard and know that for our own mental health and 'sanity' we need to get on with our lives in the new normal. We have slowly started eating out and most importantly going to listen to live music. We still are conscious of the venues we visit but we are doing it and it is helping me heal.

Last night we were at one of our old haunts in Dundee and listening to a new band to us. The place was busy but not packed and people were dancing and smiling. As the song 'Don't stop Believing' was blasted out by the band I knew in my heart that this was the message that I need to hold in my heart. Things aren't what they used to be, but I have to keep positive and believe in human nature that things will get better and we will be okay.

I am working at getting back the positive vibes but am also accepting that it is okay to feel sad sometimes. It doesn't alter who I am and perhaps has made me a better, more understanding person.

Having read my friend's message I have contacted her and will be meeting up in person very soon. I will let you know how it goes x